Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

6:37 AM

GOOD MORNING, WELL IT'S  6:37 AM. I WOKE UP ABOUT 10 MINUTES AGO, FOR THE LAST TIME. WENT OUT AND START COFFEE AND DID MY MORNING BUSINESS IN THE BATHROOM.

WELL A FEW HOURS AGO, I GOT SO TIRED OF WAKING UP SO MUCH THROUGHOUT THE NIGHT, I THOUGHT I'D CHECK OUT TO SEE HOW MANY TIMES BY WRITING IT DOWN. I USED PENCIL SO I'M NOT SURE HOW MUCH OF IT WILL COME THROUGH WHEN I SCAN IT BUT IF I NEED TO, I'LL TRANSCRIBE IT.

4am, I think it's the 30th. I do know after thinking a moment that its Tues. But who gives a shit. I'm FUCKING AWAKE AND I'M SO TIRED. This is like the 3rd time I've woke up tonight, and I don't have a hard-on and I don't have to pee. I might by the time I'm done writing this.

OK, so that brings up why am I writing on this note book in the first place.

I just dozed off, for a minute. Some odd dream about latin football. This (not sure) I came out of I think a bathroom wondering how I got there. Then this ball rolls toward me. I here {hear} (in latin) someone asking for the ball. And with all my heart,  don't recall if I threw it up to him, kicked it, or just left it sit there and walked away.

Anway, I am so freaken tired, I keep dozing off as I take these 'pause'. Which also means

That with each 'pause', comes a short (in my mind) video of a dream.

I'll describe them as best I can but instead of just a short 'doze', I want to fuckin sleep, I just doze again- and again.

Anyway I'm out officially right now until when ever

550am thirsty as hell

627am not sure why, but bad h/b & thirsty & te.

And if you can translate any of what I wrote that doesn't make sense to you, let me know.

We'll see how this goes tomorrow night

I was up and down all night, and it has been like this for so long, even though I'm scribbling these little notes with various times, I still get this feeling that people, like my doc's, don't believe me when I tell them I'm up half the night. Even when I take these god forsaken sleeping pills. So when I ask them for something stronger to get me a solid night sleep, what do I do? I tell them I'm still up most of the night and then I'm so tired in the afternoon. Like yesterday, I laid down around 2:30pm and didn't wake up 6:45pm. Well shit, at least I got about 4 hours of sleep straight through. I think that's the longest stretch I've slept for awhile..

Well, until I come up with something else to write, I'll catch you later.