I know, it has been a few months since I've posted anything, but there have been some new developments in my injury from work. So here we go, I'll get caught up on what's going on. I also want to point out, that the misspelled words to follow, I left it that way because that is what I am going through.
Good morning. Right now it is 3:58 AM, 8/10/2011. I woke up about a half hour ago and haven't been able to get back to sleep, yet anyway and I've already been awake a couple of times this night in the first place.
I wanted to get this written down while I was first of all thinking about it and so that you are familiar with what's going on.
I know you'll get your report from Dr. Mandel eventually and since I don't remember what we spoke about over the phone, I'll try and fill you in again here..
When we spoke last week after my appointment with Dr. Mandel I remember you calling me I think on Tuesday, but I don't recall the majority of our conversation. After I returned home from the QME on Tuesday, I laid down and went to bed but I don't recall what time. I remember my phone ringing and speaking to you, but as I said, I don't recall but a couple of things that I filled you in on from the QME. But as I said, when I laid down and went to bed on Tuesday, I didn't get out of bed again until Friday, at least from what I remember. Then too that was just to go to the bathroom. If I had gotten up before Friday, I don't remember and I feel that going from Tuesday to Friday and not going to the bathroom, something is wrong there. Along with not going to bathroom, I didn't eat. The pain, discomfort and stress that I had endured during the electrical test on Monday, I shut down. I normally sleep a few hours and wake up and go back to sleep for an hour or so and up and down. It wears me out not being able to sleep on my own. But the doctors just keep giving me drugs to help with that and even then the pills don't seem to help me get actual rest from what sleep I do get.
8/10/2011 2:24 PM
This letter is also going to be done over the next few days or so. There are several reasons why, one is my lack of concentration. For example, yesterday I started this and it did take me a bit to write that much but I lost focus.
One thing I wanted to bring up is something I'm experiencing now. I just noticed a little something strange yesterday but I didn't think much of it but my right hand is feeling very strange in the sense that I'm also having trouble writing and I don't know if it's caused from the spinal cord damage. But every time I look upward or feel a strain in my neck and shoulders from looking upward, my hands, arms, shoulders and my general focus is all disrupted
8/10/2011 8:24 PM
Just a quick note, maybe. I just sat down to help do some things for my Dad on my computer. He's a Deputy and has an automatic recorder and he wants me to clean it up and unload some of the recordings/files so that he has more space again because it was full, no more room to record I guess. What I'm getting at is that when I picked up my pen in my right hand, it's fine, but when I position the pen in my hand to get ready to write, my hand starts to feel weak when I begin to press down with my index finger and begin to write.
Even when I use the mouse and try to press down on the left button with my index finger. I don't know when this started or how long this "weakness" has been in my hand. Since I don't do too much throughout my day like a job, I just noticed this a few days ago.
8/11/2011 11:22 PM
Good evening, I was just thinking about Dr. Mandel saying that, well for one that he was surprised that I hadn't seen a neurologist yet but he was also telling me that he wanted to make sure that I did see a neurologist. So I wanted to mention to that doctor, and to you while I have you here. Too at my next appointment with Dr. Rho, the pain management doctor, I need to make sure I tell him the following. For quite some time, at least the last 4 or 5 months I've been having problems with really sensitive parts of my body. For example, on my right side of my rib cage area and on the left side of my stomach, and including but not limited to the back of my left shoulder, the skin is so sensitive to not just the touch for bathing, but I cannot even let the water hit me directly while in the shower in those areas. Let alone if I have to scratch those areas or more, it's a feeling that I can only describe as though my skin was coming off while I'm scratching it or while in the shower, the water is washing my skin off like fresh paint.
I do wish I had remembered to tell all of this to Dr. Mandel. Is there anyway I can call him and amend my session with him with these notes or this information?
Another thing I wanted to know, seeing as how Dr. Mandel diagnosed me with some spinal cord damage from the implant in my neck. He had me do some stuff like reach my arms straight out or to the side,
8/12/2011 12:57 PM
Mr. Flickenger, as you have notice I'm sure, I've "inserted" specific dates and especially the times so that you see that on an average few days, every week, and every month that I have been going through for the last three plus years.
This specific "time" is one minute after I just had a "SURGE" or what I've been calling them, "BURST OF BAD ENERGY". But I guess a better sense of what I'm trying to describe is more like a surge of electricity in my forearm that travels into my hand and explodes and randomly, one of my fingers explodes. I never know which finger, it happens so fast that it was so hard to tell what came first.
8/12/2011 1:12 PM
Here is another "surge" if you will, but this time in my thumb. I had just felt another SURGE go from the heel of my left hand and then a shot down the outside of my left thumb. I don't feel just the Surge into my thumb, but after the surge it's more like a fiery, burning sensation and I even get this sensation visualized as if my hand had been dragged along some gravel.
8/12/2011 2:47 PM
Nightmare and I freaked out in bathroom, after falling asleep for a few minutes while on the toilet. This first line was just a quick note so that I would remember specifics from this moment. Also, this was the time after I returned from the bathroom.
This wasn't the first time, but I had dozed off while sitting on the toilet. But only until this last couple of weeks, I have been having daytime dreams/nightmares and even flashbacks.
I had dozed off on the toilet before and only until this last 2 weeks I have been having these flashbacks or conscious dreams where I visualize the accident all over again. I have been telling the story of what happened several times, over and over and over and over. Now, all of a sudden I am having these very, very vivid dreams. But I'm wide awake.
But just now, before I came in and made these notes, I got up from my catnap on the toilet and worked my way to the bathroom door. But I stopped short and just stood there. The next thing I know, I'm waking up and in doing so, I'm shaking, trying to keep my balance and trying to get my bearings. When I open my eyes, I freaked out even more so because all I saw was me in the mirror and blood everywhere. The longer I keep my eyes open, the clearer my vision gets. It isn't so blood red as it was when I first woke up while standing at the door of the bathroom.
8/12/2011 3:05 PM
I gave up until I jump in the shower. Hopefully, I'll be able to pee then, yes, I did say that. I know, it's a fairly personal matter in a typical conversation, but this information isn't typical. Being able to actually have that feeling of accomplishment is major for me. Ever since May 5th when the implant in my neck caused the paralysis in my left leg and left hand, I have not been able to pee comfortably. The hospital staff in Parker put the catheter in me and for that week I was in the hospital, I didn't have to be concerned about going pee.
After getting home from the hospital, I received 2 cases of self use/administered catheter kits. I've already used one case and I just got into the 2nd case. My abdomen begins to get bloated and swelled up or something. My urge to go pee is incredible but whe I stand over the toilet, NOTHING happens. I typi
I want and need to know if the spinal cord damage done to my neck from the implant, along with causing the paralysis to my left leg and left hand, did it cause any damage to my prostate or anything NEUROLOGICALLY?
8/12/2011 6:15 PM
Well here is more of what I have been going through. I had been sitting on the toilet trying to go to the bathroom, (number 2), because of all of the pills I'm on, I'm constipated and really "gassy" so I don't know what's what, and I don't want to take a chance and so I'll sit down. While 'm sitting, I am not always able to pee. So once I'm done with (number 2), I'll stand up, turn around, and hopefully finish peeing from there.
But that scenario has been happening for the last 4 or 5 months. But this is another problem I've had. Because of my hand being in the condition it's in, constant pain and numb and tingly, so much that I forgot my phone was resting in my left palm until I heard a "SPLASH". That sound was my phone going in the toilet. Because I do not get a lot of sleep, this is why I keep nodding off while sitting and even standing at the toilet.
This problem again brings me to question whether or not the implant in my neck isn't causing me to have these problems with prostate. Because ever since May 5th when I had the numbness and atrophy in my left leg and left hand, I've been having serious problems going pee and nobody has sent me to anyone to have that checked out. I have to still at various times use a self catheter to empty my bladder and it has been 3 months since my paralysis
8/12/2011 10:37 PM
Damn, I thought I was done having these other surges, like the one I just had. I have told PA's and doctors about this and I'll describe it the best I can here But all I get from the medical staff that I have told is, "we'll check it out but it's probably nothing". Bottom line, nobody has checked it out. But here it is.
I'll feel this "JOLT", or "SHOCK" at the most random times. I can be just sitting still, or I can be out walking. I've felt it without turning my head, but too, I'll feel it with a slight turn of my head. I've even sat still, turning my head to try and ignite the sensation but I couldn't get anything going intentionally.
But this is what I feel; it typically begins at the base of my neck or as low as my collar bone and it does not effect just one side, it's like it goes right through my core of my neck and up into my head. The "JOLT" has literally hit me so hard that it has blurred my vision so bad that I cannot see. It only lasts for a few seconds. No longer than what one would feel from a big sneeze but this mainly only effects just my shoulder area's, neck and into my head.
8/13/2011 12:07 AM
I'm sitting at my desk, working on my drawings and only until recently I am noticing something weird with my hold on my pen. My fingers almost feel like they're going numb, but yet that may not be accurate. When I hold my pen in my right hand, my index finger feels almost like it's week. Even like I don't have any control over where it is suppose to go. So whatever is going on in my neck, it is greatly effecting my confidence in my ARTWORK.
8/13/2011 1:07 AM
First of all, I'm tired. And when I am this tired, if I am telling you a story, or even just a couple of sentences. Sometimes I have a tendency to slip random sentences in with my current sentence. I may not be describing it as accurately as I am thinking it. Here's another possible scenario. For example, your reading Moby Dick and out of the blue, some random sentence from a book written by James Patterson, sy from
8/13/2011 4:22 AM
I just woke up, but I remember laying down around 2:00 AM and I was very tired and so I'm pretty sure I fell asleep right away.
8/13/2011 6:43 AM
I just woke up and had to go to the bathroom. But now I'm getting worried because I'll have these great urges to go pee but I'm getting worried that I won't be able to go, I'll have to use the catheter again.
8/13/2011 9:01 AM
8/13/2011 11:53 AM
Perfect example of the amount of difficulty for me to pee. I just got up off the toilet but I stood there for a good 5 minutes unable to pee. I had the urge to do no. 2 so I sat down and was able to do a little bit of no. 2 but I am still constipated, it's coming out like pellets. I still didn't pee any.
8/13/2011 12:32 PM
I just came out of the bathroom again after trying to go pee. On the way in I didn't think I was going to make it because I had to go so bad. I get in there and lift the lid and the seat, and I'm standing there, waiting, waiting, waiting, and waiting. Nothing happened but the urge for me to have to pee is still there and getting stronger. I had to use the catheter yesterday,
8/13/2011 1:28 PM
Dammit, I lift my head upward and back from my chin now and again and because of the implant in my neck, it sends a whole different type of "Jolt" or "Shock" that any of the other moves, reaches, stretches, whatever. This one feels like it's electrical. But I know for a fact that it isn't because I know that my implant is OFF. And I still have to pee.
8/13/2011 1:35 PM
Lets see if I can pee this time, I'm going now.
2:03 PM nope. I went in to the bathroom and stood there at the2 toilet for about 7 min's and nothing happened, except the to go no. 2. so then I sat down and the urge as strong as ever to go pee. So I sat there, pushing as best as I could. I have got to empty my bladder. My pain level in my has been at a 10 all day as it is, I don't need this shit too where I can't just go pee. If I have to eo
8/13/2011 2:18 PM
Going to bathroom, try this again.
2:24 PM Finally, I was able to relieve some of that pressure inside of me. If I didn't do something soon, I would have had to use a catheter. I can at least relax a bit, at least until the next time. I really hope I don't have to use the catheter.
8/13/2011 3:54 PM
And one more time. This is what I have been going through, more and more. It's still appears to be from what ever happened to me back in May 5th.
4:25 PM, Look at this, it has been a half hour and I hardly got anywhere. I still have that sensation that I have got to go to the bathroom
8/13/2011 5:08 PM
Well I just got out of the shower, and fortunately I was able to pee while in there, and I mean really pee. I was able to get my bladder emptied and feel comfortable when I finished. I have a theory that if I do have to pee in the shower, I'll do it when I first get in there because while I'm washing my hair and the rest of my body, that soap is cleaning up any urine that would be in the bottom of the shower.
But, aside from that. There has got to be something wrong neurologically or whatever. I've noticed this issue before just from scratching an itch. But when I take a shower, at home anyway, I use a long handled brush to wash my body, my back, legs, my right side of my body with my right hand. It looks unusual I think but it works.
Now here is my problem. In using the brush, I don't scrub so hard that it is going to peal my skin off. I have felt this unusual and a lot of times painful sensational
8/13/2011 8:42 PM
Dinner was called at 7:00 PM, I took my time eating and I immediately had to go to the bathroom, no. 1 and no. 2. I ended up spending 45 min's going nowhere and compounding upon the headache I had already been building on.
8/13/2011 9:42 PM
This is utterly crazy. My headache is worse and here I am going to the bathroom every hour or so and still I am unable to pee or take a comfortable crap today. With any luck, I'll at least be able to pee later without having to use another catheter. You see these commercials where these people are re-using their old catheters or something. That's bull shit Mr. Flickenger. I shouldn't even be in this situation with the catheters in the first place. If the implant hadn't evidentially caused the spinal cord damage then my prostate and colon would be working fine in the first place. I knew something was wrong when I would have the implant on and I would have trouble walking. The surges of current
8/13/2011 9:49 PM
A perfect example of my conscious dreams that I have been having. Whatever the dream was, I have no idea. But the part that has been getting me spooked is where one of the chaRACTERS IN THE DREAM EITHER JUST STARTS TO TALK TO ME AND HERE I amanswereing this person or just continueing to converse with them. This time I was asked to look for and grab to this persons/characters red or blue jacket, they could not recall which onr they brought today. I said "sure, let me see, where did you hacve it on last?".
8/13/2011 10:02 PM
Right now, down the middle of my left hand, in the palm are buyt more like deep into the middlwe, middle of my hand I'm havbiong this sharp, stabbing sensataion and if it finally lg
10:12 PM and the surges in tot
8/13/2011 10:31 PM
The pain in my hand has gotten so bad tonight, my headache is through the roof, my shoulders are so tight from the fear and stress of not knowing if my bladder is going to explode or not. I'm afraid that if I push too hard while trying to take a shit, my stomach is going to fall out on the floor.
This hasn't even been a week.
8/14/2011 12:08 AM
My headache is just killing me. I am going to check and see if I can pee now.
1:29 AM
Yes, my head is still killing me. I go to turn my head and it makes my headache worse and I still could not go piss.
8/14/2011 1:43 AM
Here we go again. My stomach and midsection are unsettled,so it feels like I am going to have a rough bowel movement but my bladder feels full also. B2:00 AM
8/14/2011 2:30 AM
8/14/2011 4:11 AM
8/14/2011 3:32 PM
8/14/2011 11:45 AM
8/14/2011 12:28 PM
pee
8/14/2011 4:09 PM
Oh man, I am sitting at my desk
8/14/2011 4:19 PM
8/14/2011 5:55 PM
Dinner was called and on my way out to get mine, I stopped by the bathroom to see if I could possibly go pee. The urge was there, the pressure was building up pretty good. I believe that if I were normal, I would
8/14/2011 6:32 PM
8/14/2011 11:03 PM
Experiencing intense, sharp and pinching sensation in my left hand
8/14/2011 11:30 PM
I was hoping the shooting sensations were done, at least for the night. But
Hallucinations. I thought I had the cap to a high end pen in my hand
8/14/2011 11:54 PM
I have no idea what I just experienced, bur this one was not even close to the 10…….
8/15/2011 12:27 AM
I felt hungry
8/15/2011 12:45 AM
I finished my bowl of cereal,
8/15/2011 2:17 AM
I forgot, yes I forgot,,,,,,,, to fold my clothes that are still on my bed from earlier.
2:53 AM I was just now standing there, trying to straighten out a pair of khaki shorts when I felt a Jolt go though my body. It felt like it started
3:12 AM Whew, got those folded and put away, finally
8/15/2011 3:13 AM
I have got this headache still just killing me. It hasn't gotten any worse, it just will not go away. But I am going to try and go out and go to the bathroom.
3:54 AM I just got back from going to the bathroom, 45 minute's ago
8/15/2011 11:05 AM
Well, I woke up again, but it isn't good this time. My right hand and arm are semi-paralytic and use my right hand to do most of my typing with and now I can hardly omve my fingers.
8/15/2011 11:57 AM
Another attempt at the toilet, brb
12:14 PM Mission accomplished I guess one could say. I'm going to actually lay down, I cannot type wiith my left hand in the firat place, but my right hand is right now worse. I hope laying down willl hep with that.
I'll make a note when I wake up. Thanks for your time Mr. Flickenger, I won't take up too much more of your time.
8/15/2011 3:46 PM
Just woke up from a short nod off in my chair, but something went wrong in the way I was sitting there. My right hand and arm feel sort of numb and I am having trouble moving my fingers to even type. Too both sides of my tongue are really sore, but I think from stress and me sucking all the moisture out of my mouth. I caught myself doing it and now I'm just trying to consciously not to do it.
8/15/2011 5:05 PM
I just got up from a nap on my bed this time. My right hand and arm still feel a little numb, I just hope that it doesn't last too much longer.
5:35 PM My brother made dinner, so at the same time I took a bowwl and couple of glasses from my room to the kitchen and in trying to rince them for dishwasher, I just about freaked out because of the one glass, was glass and trying it handle gently enough and not get cut. And with my right hand acting like it is, I cannot tell how tight my grip might be or might not be and I end up and drop it and cut myself more.
7:49 PM My hand still feels really week and I just had a bad energy shoot through my small finger in my left hand.
8:27 PM I have spent the last 30 min's out of the 50 I have been typing up, at least trying to type up my lst comment @ 7:49. I am having the worst time of it with my right hand acting the way it is. I did take a minute at 7:29 pm to call Dr. Rho, but I knew they were not open today anyway because of the holiday weekend. But I'll call them if this isn't any better tomorrow.
9:21 PM I just would really like to make it thru without any pain.
10:07 PM Son of a bitch. I just bit at a hangnail on my left ring finger. It's bleeding just a little bit but it hurt so incredibaly bad because of the pain in my hand from the dameged nerves and to just touch my hand, that hurts like hell already, bu to pull a hangnail, but it's not even close to the pain discomfort I am going through with everything else.
10:35 PM I needed to take another sleeping aid pill and I too a couple of Somas, but popped them in my mouth and realized my bottle of water was not open and I couldn’t open it. The pills were disoving and tastig so bad.igrabbed a towel to even try and open the bottle. Finallyu after 3 or 4 minutes I get the bottle open. Plain water does not resolve a bad taste in yopur mouth. Going to try a shot of honey to help with the taste in my mouth.
10:44 PM ok, lets see now. I swallowed the mouth full of honey and as I'm sitting here, I think its working. Try some water.
10:47 PM , no change so I am going to pop a Werther's Original and now I'm going to lay. If I don't make any more notes then I had a fair evening. I am going to lay down, if I do happen to get, I'll make an
8/16/2011 12:40 AM
I woke up from another dream involving glass. So I looked around my desk, my drawing table, my dresser. Then I hen delor
8/17/2011 3:27 AM
Well at least I was able to go pee this time, but I would have rather been able to get more sleep.
2:36 AM
5:58 AM aaaah, this is making me sick. I'm so tired through out the day.
8/18/2011 1:15 AM
I think I got about 2 1/2 hours of sleep, my arm is actually hurting on the outside of my bicep, like I got hit by something, what I'm not sure but my arm is hurting.
3:18 AM woke up after being restless and having a bad dream
5:42 AM I tried to just stay awake and watch some t.v. shows but ended up falling asleep again.
8:34 AM This really sucks. I would love to get a solid 6 hours of sleep, ideally I would like to get a full 8 or more. But I just don't see it happening.
8/18/2011 11:22 AM
I called Mr. Flickenger's office and left a message with Armando to have
Mr. Flickenger call me as soon as he could. I think he needs to know. Otherwise I will have to talk to another attorney.
8/18/2011 5:02 PM
My dad came in to my room and asked me if I wanted to go with them to the Chamber Mixer. I have been going to quite a few of them, what they are is social gatherings for anyone but mostly for local business owners. I have to say that these gatherings are really the only thing I've done socially since I've moved out here 2 years ago. I would have gone but now that my right arm is doing what it is doing, I am embarrassed, I look even more like a freak. So I went to Subway for a sandwich and fortunately it was slow so not many people were around to see me just take a bit of my sandwich because I looked like a freak, and then to take a drink, I have to use two hands just to get it to my mouth.
8/18/2011 5:28 PM
I had just gotten off the phone with Mr. Flickenger, I explained everything that I could think of and/or remember. We even spoke of a possible mal-practice law suit and he said that he would see about finding someone.
8/18/2011 6:59 PM
I just picked up my prescription that JZ gave me yesterday. It's suppose to help with the nerves or something in my neck.
8/19/2011 4:14 AM I've nodded off a couple of time but now I'm going to finally go to bed. I
tried a couple of hours ago, but I woke up after about a half hour. Lets see how long this nap lasts.
7:51 AM well, what was this, 3 1/2 hours but I remember laying in bed after my last note and seeing 5:00 AM go by on my clock before I actually fell asleep. But now I'm up actually I have got to get mu mileage logs done and turned in, it's been awhile. But I am so tired.
8/19/2011 1:07 PM
Son of a Bitch. Two things had just occurred, one was I just went through an aching, throbbing, sharp pain on the inside of my Right wrist. Aside from that sharp pain, as each "throb" pounded in my wrist, I also experienced a sharp pounding in my head. It actually lasted about 4, maybe 5 minutes.
Finally it stopped, man I don't want to go through that again. I've felt one or the other, One at a time, but not both. That wore me out.
3:30 PM My brother Jason got home and asked me to go with him to the gym at the hospital. I finally decided sure, why not. So we got down there just before 4:00 PM and I hopped on the treadmill and walked for what seemed like forever. Then I got on the bicycle and did that for a while. It felt good. The thing that sucks is that the gym is only open from 3 to 8 during the week and a few hours Saturday morning's.
